Do you ever see couples who just have ‘it’? That indefinable magic. That feeling of complete and total togetherness. The sense that they might have the secret to lasting happiness?
And do you worry that you might not be able to find the same?
The truth is that happy couples (at any age) aren’t blessed with some sort of magic power. Happy couples don’t just happen. That lasting spark takes work and commitment. It takes mutual understanding and honest communication. The real secret is that there is no secret. But a lot of hard work and smart choices.
We have brought together 10 of the ‘secrets’ happy couples share below. Try just a few of these easy tips and tricks to inject some of that magic into your relationship.
1. They spend time together
And even more importantly, they prioritise time together. Our lives are increasingly hectic, and making time for date night, or even time to sit in front of the TV together can be difficult. But if you want your relationship to remain close and vibrant, then time together should be at the top of your to-do list. Schedule in regular couple time to keep your partnership fresh. This means just the two of you. No kids. No grandkids. No friends. High-quality alone time.
2. They stay affectionate
This doesn’t mean they are spending more time under the covers necessarily. It simply means they maintain the small intimate gestures that make them a couple. This could be a good morning kiss, a touch on the arm as you walk by each other in the kitchen, a lingering look. Those tiny shared gestures are something that you may not have considered, but they really matter. It’s when these small moments start to slip away that we lose the sense of intimacy we once shared.
3. They are a true partnership
Sometimes, when you disagree with your partner, it’s easy to forget that you are meant to be on the same team. Arguments become about the ‘winner’ and ‘loser’ rather than an attempt to resolve an underlying problem. Happy couples never lose sight of their partnership whether they are working together on a project or disagreeing over something important. Always put your partnership first and try to find solutions that are beneficial to you as a team, rather than beneficial to you as an individual. It could completely change your perspective.
4. They are realists
Real relationships aren’t perfect, and they certainly aren’t always pretty. Happy couples share a realistic view of what relationships are, they don’t strive for fairy-tale endings or expect every day to be perfect. This helps them to embrace their partner and their relationship warts and all. They might even come to see that it is their imperfections that make them so special. If you go into a relationship with a highly idealised and rigid view of how your lives should be, then you are sure to be disappointed. Instead, take a reality check and learn to take the rough with the smooth.
5. They talk to each other
Learning how to honestly and openly communicate is an essential step for all couples. And happy couples often figure this out quickly. This is about more than just chatting about your day. It’s about learning how to express your feelings openly and to truly listen to your partner in return. Engaging in a healthy dialogue helps couples to nip most issues in the bud at an early stage. This approach also stops unspoken problems lingering and growing. Keeping a lid on unhealthy feelings of resentment.
6. They spend time apart
It may seem counterintuitive but alone time could be just as important as couple time for maintaining a healthy relationship. Happy couples retain their distinct individual identities outside of their role in the partnership. They maintain their own friendship groups, explore separate interests, and, importantly, do this with the blessing and support of their significant other. You may feel like you want to spend every second of your time with your partner at the start of a relationship, but this is a recipe for disaster further down the line. Try not to lose sight of who you are.
7. They spend time working on their relationship
Think of your relationship as a beautiful sports car. It needs regular maintenance to keep it running smoothly. Happy couples not only spend time thinking about their relationship, they take active steps to improve on it. And they take these steps together. For a happy relationship to stay that way, you both need to have an equal investment in the partnership and be prepared to put the time in to keep it strong. This isn’t always easy and involves a lot of self-awareness and honesty, but it’s absolutely worth the effort.
8. They accept help when they need it
One aspect of being in a happy couple is recognising when things are going wrong and being prepared to accept help to fix the problem. This may mean accepting general support from friends or family or being willing to speak to a professional counsellor or therapist. Seeking outside help isn’t a weakness or a sign that something is fundamentally wrong in the relationship, instead, it shows that your prepared to do whatever it takes to keep your relationship strong. Don’t stick your head in the sand when it comes to the difficult parts of your relationship, problem solve together and be prepared to accept outside help.
9. They make time for sex
If sexual intimacy is an important part of your relationship, then it is something you have to make time for. Couples without a mutually satisfying sex life can drift apart, often starting to feel more like roommates than a part of a romantic relationship. Every couple has a different level of sexual activity that feels right for them. This could be once a week or once a day! Talk about your sexual needs honestly, find an approach that works for you and try your best to stick with it. Sex is one of the biggest subjects that couples avoid talking about, but it shouldn’t be! Make sure you not only make time to be intimate – but to talk about it too!
10. They sweat the small stuff
When it comes to relationships, little things really do matter. And although you might not appreciate them when they are there, you will definitely miss them if they disappear. This could be making your partner a cup of coffee in the morning or making sure you set their favourite tv programme to record on the set-top box. It’s these little things that show you care, and more importantly, that you are thinking about your partner’s needs and desire. So, definitely do sweat the small stuff and try and do something small and meaningful for your partner, every day.
Do you want to be part of a happy couple? Start your journey towards a loving relationship today with 2Seniors. We bring together likeminded older singles every day for friendship and dating. With a wide pool of amazing older singles, you’re sure to find a profile that makes your heart beat a little faster. Sign up now and get started.