Relationship : What to Do When You Get Stuck in a Rut

Getting out of a relationship rut: 5 things you can do instantly

1- A surprise

What could bring back some spontaneity in your relationship than making a surprise to your loved one? You don’t even have to look far to find ideas, because little attentions should be enough to brighten up your day! Your partner would be pleasantly surprised if you send them a bouquet of their favorite flowers to their office. And they would be glad if you come and pick them up after a long day to have a drink at the new trendy bar. Did he broke his watch? Get it repaired without him knowing! Will she come back from her workout session? Make her a green smoothie before she arrives! In short, surprise them with little things to break up the monotony.

Tips for getting and staying out of a relationship rut

2- A romantic date

Once in a while, devote some time for just the two of you. You need to spend a few hours during which you can both completely unwind and forget about work, about your children and grand-children and basically, forget about whatever keeps you worried during the day. There are many couple activities you can choose from for your date. If you want something very romantic, you can light up one or two scented candles, then pour some wine and go all out for an at-home spa night. And if you want something more casual, you can prepare a game night or throw a picnic. Those relaxing breaks won’t only shake up your routine, they will also build a deeper connection between you and your partner.

3- A weekend getaway

You have some money aside? Why not plan a weekend getaway? You will both love exploring a new place as well as discovering new specialties. You don’t have to splash out a significant amount of money, you can actually find great travel discounts on the internet, and especially if you ask for a senior discount before booking. You can also search for money saving tips on weekend trips. If you can afford it, go on an adventure together because if you didn’t know, there is a strong correlation between adrenaline, attraction and arousal. Plus, organizing a trip is exciting in itself and that alone will help you get out of a relationship rut!

4- A new project

When you embark on a new project, you feel unstoppable, you spread contagious enthusiasm and that’s because the idea of doing something new (and that captivates you), is extremely thrilling. So, embarking on a new project together will definitely bring the spark back to your relationship! Find something you’re both passionate about and turn that passion into action. It can be a home project, for example, give one of your rooms a complete makeover or build a patio. Or it can be running a marathon together, which requires you to train a few months prior to the big day. Your common project can even be starting a small business together! More and more seniors do, it’s never too late to accomplish your dreams!

5- A sexy evening

As months and years go by, couples naturally tend to fall into a habit and that’s also true when it comes to sex. And yes, sex is not the number one priority in a relationship but that said, it’s still one of the most important ingredients to build a successful relationship. So to spice things up a little bit, you can start very simply by trying new techniques and new sex positions that turn you on. And if the idea appeals to you, try stepping out of your comfort zone. Wear sexy lingerie, get into a roleplay, play with some food, use sex toys… Get creative! If you listen to your body and get curious about your partner’s fantasies, sex after 50 and 60 doesn’t have to be boring at all.

Staying out of a rut: what works in the long run


If you think you are starting to get stuck in a rut and that you beats you down, the best thing to do is talk to your partner. Communication is key, always. Tell them what you feel and why you have this impression. Try to be as specific as possible and don’t put the blame on them, only state the facts. The goal is to find a solution together.


Well, it may sound paradoxical, and it really depends on people, but rituals can actually prevent your couple from falling into a routine. If you’re someone with a busy schedule, you can agree on having a date every Wednesday night, or on taking your turn planning a surprise date once a month. You can try and see if this system works for both of you.


To find date ideas, surprise ideas, little attention ideas, you can search for inspiration everywhere. You can read magazines and blogs of course, but novels are great too to stimulate your imagination. And don’t forget Pinterest where you can create a (private) board dedicated to your relationship goals.

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