Online Dating: How To Write A Great First Message

The most difficult thing to do when it comes to relationships, and most specifically seduction, is the first move. We are never quite sure of the correct way to talk to strangers without scaring them or without giving a bad first impression of ourselves. The advantage of using an online dating site though, is that first moves are made easier. In fact, people are less wary than how they would be in public spaces and you also have the possibility to take the time to think of your strategy beforehand. You can even go ahead and modify your first message before sending it.
However, as you can’t see the other person’s reactions behind their screen, you won’t be able to adjust your behavior accordingly. So, it’s very important to write a great first message that will catch their attention and will inspire an answer. Here are a few tips to help you come up with that.

Carefully read the profiles

Before even writing anything, there is a crucial step you absolutely need to do and that is carefully reading your crush’s profile. The latter may have caught your attention thanks to the profile picture but the details provided in it are elements that will immensely help you. We also don’t recommend you to give compliments on looks in your first online message but talk about other things. Read their interests, their description text, and look at their photos with curiosity.

Talk about your common interests

Now, make sure to write your first message based on one or two common likes and interests you saw when you were reading their profile. Is it a band, a TV show, an activity, a country you once visited, a habit you have, etc.? This is the best way to approach someone online because not only this proves you really read their profile, but this will make them start to like you. Plus, we all like to share more about our own interests.

Write a personnel message

If you have read that person’s profile and based your first message on elements you saw in their profile, normally you should come up with something personal. Avoid copy-pasting a neutral and basic text and sending it to many women (or men) at the same time, as they will know it’s not insightful and that you did it just to get a lot of responses. Instead, take that common interest or personality trait and add in your personal touch. You can say, for example, that you have played the guitar for 12 years and like to perform with your friends during events. The more specific you are, the better.

Start a conversation

The goal of all that is, of course, to get that person to answer to your message. So naturally, you have to end your message with an open question, or at least include an open question somewhere in the middle of your text. Feel free to ask specific questions about things you have in common and ask their thoughts about them. It’s a good start for a passionate conversation.

Be brief and concise

We know, talking about what you enjoy can be very satisfying but still, you have to write a short and clear message. Of course, long and philosophical texts can make a hit but unless they are extremely captivating and unless they are sent to particularly receptive people, chances are you’ll be ignored. Write 2 or 3 short paragraphs so that your email will be more likely to catch attention. Use a simple syntax, stay casual and if you make jokes, make short jokes. At this point, you have too little to no clue what kind of humor the other person is into and as you already know, brevity is the soul of wit.

Stay polite and spell check

This one is obvious and kind of a no-brainer but don’t forget to stay polite in your first message (and also in all the other messages). And most importantly, proofread your email before sending it! Spelling plays a key role in seduction, and even more so when you try to seduce someone armed mostly with your keyboard. Online dating websites give you the opportunity to spell check and to modify any grammar mistakes and typing errors so make the most of it.